Monday

Age and lying.

I wonder if this has happened to anyone else?

(I’m being a little disingenuous for the sake of conversation because I know this has happened to other people)

You’re online and you have emailed another ‘contestant’ and they ’fess up that they’re really older than what they’ve put in their profile.

I won’t mention names... but I’ve had it happen a few times.

The thing I don’t get though is what’s the big deal?

Also, isn’t lying about anything to someone at the onset of a potential relationship positioning you as a person who sacrifices truth for the sake of expediency?

Now originally, pompous, sexist ass that I am, I thought only women lied about their age but, I came across a recent complaint by one woman that she had in fact run across more than a few men who played loosey/goosey on the age issue themselves.

Maybe I’m a bit naïve but what‘s the big deal?

A number is after all a number but, I wonder why we are assigning such importance to it?

I’m closing in on 50 myself and no one is more surprised by how fast the time seems to go by but, it’s not like I crossed some invisible boundary. Not in my mind anyway although, I think in the minds of others that well may be the case.

The flip side to it is I like who I am now.

There is something which happens, not for all of us, however quite a few peers I’ve spoken with describe and understand exactly what I’m speaking to.

We get into this... (for lack of a more apt descriptor) better headspace.

We are just a little more balanced (?) than we were when we were younger, not sweating the small stuff as much as we might’ve in the past. Everyone seem to be in agreement it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to have a 30-year old body again but, not at the expense of going back to the strum and drang emotionally of that period of our lives.

Now, there was this old saw when I was growing up that a gentleman never asks a woman her age but, here in the world of Internet dating there’s no escaping one’s age. It’s part and parcel of your profile, It’s another detail in the spew of personal identifying info we put out to attract potential mates.

Is it that limiting?

I have a friend, he’s 85 now. He met his current wife when he was my age. She was 19! Do the math; they’ve been married for 35 years or so!

I know she was aware of his age but it wasn’t off-putting to her.

Even I acknowledge that’s a big gap but, I have to wonder if age isn’t more a matter of our own perspective.

Look at it this way... closing in on 50 (again, even I am surprised by this), there are some quarters where I might be considered old but to my friend (at the ripe age of 85), I’m still a baby!

Maybe I should go back to counting half years as if I were a kid.

Do you remember that time? Four and a half, five and a half, six and a half? A time when six months was a big deal?

Why lie about it though? Isn’t it better to embrace one’s age?

What do you think? (1631 Views pre transfer)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I embrace it myself. Even as I am closing in hard on 52 (tomorrow).

One of my favorite guys I met online has on his profile he is 48. I have met him and know he isn't. I would guess he is 58. I never asked him why he bothered to lie. For some reason I know it. People do not respond to someone who is 58 with the frequency they did at 48.

He did send me a current picture before we met. I think the current pic is critical. People who falsify their image online are really asking for rejection.

Anonymous said...

I have spoken with several men from this web site who admitted to me that they lied about things on their profiles from being married or divorced to being 5 years more than listed... It makes me wonder if you can ever believe what anyone says. I think that much stated in profiles is not the truth and also much stated verbally is not the truth also.

Anonymous said...

i'm 51 just as my profile states. i've heard some people say that they put in a lower age so they can get swept into more searches. still sad, no matter how you look at it.