I found an email in the inbox on one of my email accounts today and I found it very interesting and thought I would share. At the same time of course while reading it, I compared myself to the email to see if I had exhibited any of the behaviors:
Top 10 email turnoffs for women.
• Don’t ask her how much she weighs or what her measurements are.
My first thought is, why not? If I’m going to get a woman that can pull the plow through the field why wouldn’t I want to know whether or not she is ‘STRONG LIKE BULL!’ ( LOL )
Seriously though, unless I was a tailor or a clothes designer I don’t see where that would be any of my business.
• Don’t email her seven times asking her why she hasn’t responded to your first email.
I rarely email blind. Usually, I just wait until i get an email, or someone hot lists me, or winks or something. Sending an email is an individual thing based upon the person (see more further on) and writing an absolute stranger... I don’t know it’s something of a non-starter.
There have been instances where I have been especially taken with someone’s photo or video enough to write then and pass along a compliment. Generally though I’m not a big believer in the whole ‘pest’ school.
If I do write someone and don’t hear anything after awhile I will generally send off a quick email if only to ascertain whether or not I’ve offended someone (if just for the opportunity to apologize).
• Don’t ask her how many other dates she’s been on.
I’ve had people ask me this question and if they do I answer and expect an answer in return but, generally the trail of bodies in someone’s past is their business to withhold or disclose at their leisure.
• Don’t send her a nasty email if she hasn’t responded to you after several emails.
I’m sure this works with masochists but I don’t date masochists.
• Don’t ask her if she wants to have sex with you on the second email exchange, and don’t send her dirty pictures of you.
I’ve already talked about the whole ‘nude pic’ phenomenon. It escapes me although I had an ongoing exchange with someone and asked if I would be seeing anything more revealing from her. Of course by then the exchange itself had taken on a more explicit tone otherwise I can’t think of it being appropriate.
• If she gives you her phone number, don’t wait a week to call her.
I’m really guilty of this!
I just find I like talking on the telephone less and less as more time passes. Also, I don’t know what people’s schedules are like and find myself concerned about calling at the right time.
Lastly, I’m really not the kind of guy who is going to do a hard sell on a woman anyway. I just never thought it really garnered results. Consequently I tend to operate at a snail’s pace when it comes to these things, which I think several people have found more than a little frustrating.
• When asking for more pictures, do so without any references to “Can you please send me a picture so I can see your body?”
I thought they had already covered this?
• Don’t get offended if she doesn’t want to talk to you on the phone right away and/or wants to talk to you via email first to get to know you.
It’s an either or for me. Email just happens to be a lot slower in terms of building something and as I had said I am not know for moving at a mercurial pace so this might be akin to watching paint dry.
• Do not email-stalk her.
See above comment on ‘hard selling.’
• Don’t send cut-and-paste emails.
This is funny actually. Due to a glitch in the server side software recently I was able to see someone else’s account and get a sense for how other people operate on the site..
In this instance the person in question did just that! He sent out a standard one or two line email that generally said the same thing with a little modification and he had been successful with it!
This was surprising to me but, I have to wonder if the author of the article wasn’t wrong on this point.
Still when I write I write to the individual so this doesn’t work for me at all. (2455 Views pre transfer)
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End of a cycle, thoughts and all that jazz...
13 years ago
2 comments:
Years ago, a man on another site emailed me. He only had one photo posted - a black and white shot in a business suit. The photo looked to be of a man at least a decade younger than his posted age. I responded to his email and asked if he would send me another recent picture or two. I made no reference to the fact that his posted photo did not look recent when I made my request.
He responded that the posted photo was taken some twelve years ago, for his law firm ID when he started that job. He explained that he did not have a digital camera and had no good way to get a more recent photo, and that he still looked exactly the same. So, the guy's a lawyer in a big-city and he's on a dating site and can't get a recent photo.
When I didn't respond to that email I got a nasty response from him, referring to my shallow nature, I believe. Cripes.
You know, I think there’s a lawyer joke in that story somewhere. At least that’s what it seems.
I’ve gotten a couple of emails that while not overtly rude, certainly didn’t convey a sense of friendliness.
Most of the time I would just excuse it to the fact people sometimes don’t realize how harsh words sound in the antiseptic format of email. Lawyers though make their living by being exact in language so there really isn’t an excuse for it.
In any case maybe you should consider yourself lucky in that you found him out via email rather than out on a date.
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