The Honey Don’ts?

I found an email in the inbox on one of my email accounts today and I found it very interesting and thought I would share. At the same time of course while reading it, I compared myself to the email to see if I had exhibited any of the behaviors:

Top 10 email turnoffs for women.
• Don’t ask her how much she weighs or what her measurements are.

My first thought is, why not? If I’m going to get a woman that can pull the plow through the field why wouldn’t I want to know whether or not she is ‘STRONG LIKE BULL!’ ( LOL )

Seriously though, unless I was a tailor or a clothes designer I don’t see where that would be any of my business.

• Don’t email her seven times asking her why she hasn’t responded to your first email.

I rarely email blind. Usually, I just wait until i get an email, or someone hot lists me, or winks or something. Sending an email is an individual thing based upon the person (see more further on) and writing an absolute stranger... I don’t know it’s something of a non-starter.

There have been instances where I have been especially taken with someone’s photo or video enough to write then and pass along a compliment. Generally though I’m not a big believer in the whole ‘pest’ school.

If I do write someone and don’t hear anything after awhile I will generally send off a quick email if only to ascertain whether or not I’ve offended someone (if just for the opportunity to apologize).

• Don’t ask her how many other dates she’s been on.

I’ve had people ask me this question and if they do I answer and expect an answer in return but, generally the trail of bodies in someone’s past is their business to withhold or disclose at their leisure.

• Don’t send her a nasty email if she hasn’t responded to you after several emails.

I’m sure this works with masochists but I don’t date masochists.

• Don’t ask her if she wants to have sex with you on the second email exchange, and don’t send her dirty pictures of you.

I’ve already talked about the whole ‘nude pic’ phenomenon. It escapes me although I had an ongoing exchange with someone and asked if I would be seeing anything more revealing from her. Of course by then the exchange itself had taken on a more explicit tone otherwise I can’t think of it being appropriate.

• If she gives you her phone number, don’t wait a week to call her.

I’m really guilty of this!

I just find I like talking on the telephone less and less as more time passes. Also, I don’t know what people’s schedules are like and find myself concerned about calling at the right time.

Lastly, I’m really not the kind of guy who is going to do a hard sell on a woman anyway. I just never thought it really garnered results. Consequently I tend to operate at a snail’s pace when it comes to these things, which I think several people have found more than a little frustrating.

• When asking for more pictures, do so without any references to “Can you please send me a picture so I can see your body?”

I thought they had already covered this?

• Don’t get offended if she doesn’t want to talk to you on the phone right away and/or wants to talk to you via email first to get to know you.

It’s an either or for me. Email just happens to be a lot slower in terms of building something and as I had said I am not know for moving at a mercurial pace so this might be akin to watching paint dry.

• Do not email-stalk her.

See above comment on ‘hard selling.’

• Don’t send cut-and-paste emails.

This is funny actually. Due to a glitch in the server side software recently I was able to see someone else’s account and get a sense for how other people operate on the site..

In this instance the person in question did just that! He sent out a standard one or two line email that generally said the same thing with a little modification and he had been successful with it!

This was surprising to me but, I have to wonder if the author of the article wasn’t wrong on this point.

Still when I write I write to the individual so this doesn’t work for me at all. (2455 Views pre transfer)

Sexual Politics.

I’m baaaaaccccckkkkkk.

You know there are times you just have to walk away from the Internet. Being online comes at the expense of the real world and I spend far too much time online as it is.

But... enough about being online, let’s talk about sexual politics or is it the politics of sex?

So, last week I lost a date over the election.

True story!

I had emailed back and forth with someone and we were approaching the juncture where we were to meet for the first time. After exchanging phone numbers, having the initial conversation and the stars were aligned for our eventful first face to face.

Then things went awry...

On the night of the election I called up to firm up plans for the following day and suddenly everything went off the rails.

What could have happened?

Very simple actually, we disagreed.

I don’t even know if we disagreed per se, I get every sense we voted for the same person. As a matter of fact I’d be willing to bet on that but, there were assumptions being made and I didn’t feel compelled to correct those assumptions.

The lady in question had canvassed for our President elect, something I find admirable indeed. Thing is, I sincerely feel (and felt) whoever won the election was going to have a bunch of tough slogging ahead of them. There just isn’t any way to deny tough times are ahead.

I volunteered as much as well. So, even though I voted for the same guy, I hadn’t ‘drunk the Kool-Aid.’ I have a jaundiced view of the American body politic and I take campaign promises with a grain of salt.

Also, I had caught a George Carlin special on DVD over the weekend and while reminding me of how much I loved Carlin when he was alive, it certainly tapped into my more cynical tendencies.

So, not being all excited and celebratory, I had the feeling there was an assumption I was on the (evil) OTHER SIDE!

I just don’t have the patience for this. I have grown so very tired of the divisive attitude of many people I find it far too easy to tweak them. Plus, I don’t expect someone to agree with me on everything. If anything, I think things are better, more interesting, when couples don’t agree on things. It keeps people honest. I’m not talking about being challenged by the person you’re with at every turn, more about being able to have a passionate discussion where you respect and listen to the opposing side.

Something in the nature of dialog, especially where politics are concerned, has become a thing with a ‘Take No Prisoners’ attitude.

The older I get the more I realize the world isn’t black and white. I find it extremely funny when a person who passionately espouses a liberal point of view is simultaneously closed off from any kind of further discussion.

The person I was talking to lives in Manhattan. I was relaying to her how Manhattan cannot be taken as representative of the entire country. The country is such a big place; there are so many people across the nation who live different kinds of lives. Not wrong or right, just not the way we may live our lives. Does this mean their opinion is somehow less valid because they don’t agree with us?

I think not.

Anyway, I played a bit of the Devil‘s Advocate throughout the conversation. Not to be malicious but because the deeper into the conversation I got the more I realized there wasn’t any room for any other opinions.

So, why bother?

It’s like I was following the siren call of some vague principle but principles don’t get you laid on a Saturday night.

BRAND OBAMA.

The Obama Brand.

Or where John McCain missed it.

I started this a few days back and since I am out the door in a little bit to vote I might as well finish it up:

Thankfully we are only a few days out from the election. I say thankfully because I tire of the quadrennial frenzy out nation descends into every time a Presidential election rolls around. If only people would get as excited and as passionate for local elections – where are all you f*@#ers then?

Anyway, watching John McCain flounder through this campaign has been a real wonder to behold. I mean that in the most snarky and sarcastic sense because if ever there was a political candidate who so embodied the character from Animal House it would be Red State John.

Watching the ’08 edition of the Republican Party flail away has been simply amazing as they have tried time and time again to make something stick against Teflon Barack.

The thing is, Barack Obama has positioned his brand so well coming into this election cycle, he made himself almost impossible to beat.

Obama’s campaign from the very start was based around a single premise, a premise his whole brand identity was built upon.

Change.

It’s as simple as that, you can sum up Obama’s campaign in a single word and the candidate has hammered away continually reinforcing it in the electorate’s mind. A single word, which serves a multiple purpose.

First, it plays well to all the people who have been carrying pent up anger and venom ever since the 2000 election. These are the people who have so loudly and repeatedly called for some kind of change in the makeup of our government.

Funny thing is, we had a taste of that change during the ’06 midterm election when the Democrats. The end result... not much.
Six-point plan
Prior to the election in July 2006 Democrats unveiled a six-point plan they promised to enact if elected with congressional majorities. The plan was billed the “Six for 06 agenda” and officially called "A New Direction For America" and compared to the 1994 Republican “Contract with America.” The six-points of the plan include: “honest leadership and open government, real security, energy independence, economic prosperity and educational excellence, a healthcare system that works for everyone, and retirement security.”


People in this country have short memories, plainly put with a Democratic majority in both houses for the last two years and Congress has very little to show for it. This rally cry against one party or another doesn’t address the underlying dysfunction in our government. The government of our nation has been at best a reactionary force in American society and at worst a sterling example of how bureaucracy fails when compromised at the alter of Capitalism.

The dialog in our country especially in regard to the current election has been a fascinating glimpse into the fractured psyche of the American public. Is our government supposed to be a paternalistic entity? If so, how far are we willing to let our government become involved in our affairs? People at once want government to do something about health-care, about education, about business and a host of other issues but how restrictive do we want government to be? When government starts becoming involved in social issues, is it a good thing or a bad thing? We walk a tightrope here, some recognize it but many do not.

Getting back to the current election though, Obama has built the perfect brand... his brand is change.

Are you unhappy? Change.

Not making enough money? Change.

Don’t like our foreign policy? Change.

Worried about government spending? CHANGE!

It’s so broad and generic a term it defies the inherent hazards of specificity.

This is where John McCain has failed because he has been unable to distance himself from the current administration. John McCain’s campaign has tried repeatedly to figure out how to position their candidate - first it was as the ‘experienced guy’ but that didn’t work. Then, it was as the ‘heroic guy’ but that didn’t work either. Finally it was the ‘progressive guy’ (as evidenced by his VP choice) but ultimately that didn’t work either.

In the meantime, Obama has positioned himself as an agent of change. What that change will be, the American people have a vague idea of but it will be change.

I’ve gotten emails about our descent into Socialism, as if somehow this is supposed to raise some specter of fear in me.

Yet, I’m not afraid.

McCain has not been the only candidate frustrated by the Obama campaign’s deft positioning... speak to any HRC supporter and you’ll find a lingering bitterness, a disbelief in how her coronation somehow could not come to pass. How was it possible for the ultimate strategists to be outsmarted so?

Strategy? You must of course realize Barack Obama has not just foiled the plans of the RNC. No, he has also managed to foil the very carefully mapped out plans of the Clinton camp. Plans that included HRC sticking it out through Bill’s many dalliances, HRC taking a senate seat in a state to echo the path of RFK and all the built-up goodwill of stumping for so many Democratic candidates over the last 8 years building chits to be called in during her abortive presidential bid.

In any case, this year’s election has to be one of the best examples of the marketing of a candidate to come along since we started having elections. This has been the perfect example of an election for a media-obsessed society. To the detriment of everything else put on hold as we progress to this one-day.

I’m back and I’ve already taken care of voting. It promises to be one of those elections where there is a big turnout. I was 31 out of 400 registered voters for my polling location and it wasn’t even 7:30! I’m not going to watch all the polling news, I’m not going to stay riveted to the TV over this. Tomorrow, one way or the other it will be settled, we will have voted and a decision will have been made. It’s not a football game, or the World Series where you root for one side or another. As long as people come out and vote... we all win. (1123 Views pre transfer)

NOVEMBER 5!

So, November 5th will be a very eventful day.

November 5th I will be getting my long, long hair cut finally.

Off with my hair!

A ponytail will go out to Locks of Love. No longer will I have the need for those bandy things anymore, showers should take considerably less time as well.

A great weight will have been lifted from my shoulders!

Oh, I think we’ll also know who is going to be our next President by then too.

The important thing for me though is getting my first haircut in little over two years.

Amazing!

Between now and next Wednesday I have to at least take some pictures of myself with the unruly mop of hair exploding out like it can. If only to remember it.

I’m not sure if I’ll be growing my hair long again. Never say never but, I’m not entirely sure if the long hair thing works so well for guys my age.

I don’t even fathom what does work for guys my age but certainly the long hair isn’t it. If anything I probably should be going in the opposite direction because the one thing you don’t have to worry about, as you get older is hair.

Hair grows just about everywhere the older you get.

Not in places you want it to, but boy does it sure grow!

I’m not a hirsute kind of guy; still I’m always aware of all the weird bad things that happen to guys, as we get older. It’s like our bodies are old driveways and weeds keep springing up. If we’re not careful, we get overrun by the damn things.

Women don’t mention it to men but it doesn’t mean they don’t notice either.

I’m talking about things like the slight bush growing out of your ears, or the dandelion of nose hair or even the one wild thick strand going awry from your eyebrow. You’ve got to stay on top of that stuff.

I was out with someone recently and she was relaying how she had been out with a man whose eyebrow looked like a caterpillar doing a dance across his forehead. Needless to say there wasn’t a second date, it just doesn’t work unless a gal is an entomologist.

Well, all I know is I’m cleaning up my act. I’m sure any potential companions will greatly appreciate the effort. :) (1274 Views pre transfer)

Don’t believe in change.

Election day is almost upon us and of course in the next few days the drumbeat will increase to a fever pitch as the very real prospect of one candidate winning and the other losing will become a reality.

I’ve made up my mind who I’m voting for, I still can’t fathom people who say they are as yet undecided. Do these same people need help having someone picking out their clothes for them in the morning or having another person feed them?

Thing is, whoever gets in, people need to be a lot more realistic about what our prospects are.

We are on the cusp of a prolonged recession. The volatility of the market aside, over the coming months there will be decreased consumer spending, higher unemployment and growing deficits.

If you doubt me on this, ask yourself how freely you spend money given the current economy and how secure you feel about money going forward.

The point is whoever wins this election will have a tough row to hoe. There will be very little leeway for any chief executive after dealing with the problems of the economy. Consequently, expect the next year to two years to be a very difficult time.

I don’t want to sound pessimistic but, as caught up as people can get in the frenzy of campaign season, it is imperative to realize January 21st, 2009 if your guy wins, the sun will not immediately come out, birds will not start singing and all will not suddenly become happiness and light. The people who believe that are going to be in for something of a rude awakening.

Likewise, if your guy loses... well, it’s not all the new President’s fault if things suddenly don’t go swimmingly. I would venture between now and round about June of 2010 were going to be having some sobering times. The booms in the last century were in the 20’s, the 50’s and the 90’s it may be a bit of time before another boom comes along. (1334 Views pre transfer)

I’M CUTTING IT OFF!

So after much thought and an equal amount of frustration I have come to a decision. Something must be done. There is no escaping it and drastic measures are called for.

How I set upon this path though, requires some explanation.

A few years back, I was saddled with the burden of caring for an aging parent. This is a truly onerous task to put it mildly. Taking on this burden meant everything in my own life had to be put on hold, on hold for a period of several years.

If you try to explain the scope of how all-consuming a task this is to someone who hasn’t gone through it themselves, they can’t fully grasp its scope.

When you care for an aging parent, your life is a constant battle, as you are being challenged by a person of diminishing capacity who does not want to let go of the reins of control. Think of a fading power unwilling to change the status quo.

To be a caregiver is a challenging job in and of itself but, to add the element of battling with someone who knows you almost as well as you know yourself, makes the job take on Sisyphean proportions.

You sacrifice.

Things fall by the wayside in your life. Works, relationships, friends, all are a fading backdrop as your time is increasingly occupied by the management of your charge’s deteriorating condition.

Age is the one disease from which no one recovers.

If you can comport yourself with grace and retain your sanity, you are one of the special few, but no doubt there will be moments when literally you will think about banging your head against the wall in frustration.

So, why cut it off?

After watching the woman in my life have her fill of this and realizing I had no time to even think of dating, I began to wonder what use I had for even toying with the concept of a social life. Also, I thought given the circumstances and the competition I face in my age group, it wouldn’t matter much anyway.

I’m talking about my hair, of course.

You might have read something else into the title but, I had let my hair grow incredibly long.

On the one hand, I thought it was to my advantage. Many of my peers can no longer boast about having a full field of hair never mind having long flowing locks. And... I have hair; it has a life of its own! Although the rub is, I keep it up most of the time, so I can’t say anyone enjoys it.

There was an earlier period when I first met my previous companion and having such a mop of hair was a plus. She loved being loomed over by a beast of a man and being buried beneath wild tresses.

There was something very raw in those moments, raw and fun.

I lopped off all the hair as a concession though. Wanting to impress those members of family I came to meet who were conservative, I wanted to make that ‘good impression.’ So, as the song goes, ‘that long beautiful hair’ it was gone.

I stayed with short hair for quite some time, and then I took on this burden and she left.

And my hair grew...

...and it grew and grew.

Until we reached where we are today.

It’s more of a bother than anything now though. Lacking a single focus of my attentions, wanting to make that good ‘first impression’ my mane has become more of a liability. Instead of it being appreciated, it takes on the aspect of me being ill-kept and ungroomed.

So, off it must go!

Still, there is a chance to take anything and turn it to good ends if you are of a mind and even though I am taking the dramatic step of going back to ‘short hair’ some good will come out of this.

I found an organization that will take my long locks and turn it into a wig for children stricken with cancer. At the very least someone will get a chance to appreciate it and in the end that’s all that matters. (1278 Views pre transfer)

My funniest debate moment.

Not sure if people picked up on the irony of it or not.

Funniest moment: Listening to the candidate who complains the loudest about wasteful government spending and wanting to cut government costs whining about how his opponent didn’t take money from the government for his campaign. (1627 Views pre transfer)